


It's Always Been You

by seekercastle



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:19:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7281418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekercastle/pseuds/seekercastle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>years ago, Delphine left Cosima and marry someone else. now, circumstances put them together in the same place once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> /italic/ = french or conversation on phone
> 
> english is not my first language so, please bear with me. i still have a lot to learn. also, as you can see i'm not good in making summary at all. so, please, enjoy my very first fic.

“ _How’s she?_ ” asked Claude.

The girl in his laptop screen pinched her nose bridge. “ _Still no progress. The doctor asked me if I considering to turn down her life support machine._ ”

“Quoi?! _You said no, right_?”

“ _I told him, I need to discuss this matter with you, first._ ”

“ _Margaux, don’t tell me you’re considering that option_.” Said Claude to his twin sister with a low voice.

Margaux sighed, and cover her face with her palm. Claude realized the bags under her eyes seems darker than the last time they Skype, she looks so tired Claude’s wondering when the last time her sister get a proper sleep. Claude already booked a flight to Paris right after his last exam next week, he needs to be there for his sister, and mother.

“ _You’ll be here next week, right_?” Margaux asked.

Claude nodded, “ _Of course_. _Nothing in this world could change that._ ”

Margaux give him a tired smile. “ _Good. Because I will kill you if you don’t._ ”

“ _You love me too much to kill me_.” Claude grinned at his twin sister.

Margaux laughed. Not the kind of laugh that Claude expect he’d hear from her sister, but a laugh nonetheless, and it’s still nice to hear her laugh after a long time.

“Unfortunately.” Said Margaux in english.

“I miss you, Margaux.”

“I miss you too, Claude.”

“ _Just another week._ ”

“Oui.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Of course I’m coming. I want to spend more time with my daughter.”

“ _I know you’re coming. That’s why I’m asking for your flight, what time will you arrive here?_ ”

“Around seven. I’ll send you my itinerary, ‘kay?”

“ _That’s better. Tessa will pick you up. She can’t wait to show you her new car. Oh that reminds me, please don’t call her car ugly or anything, although it is ugly, but don’t tell her that._ ”

“Yeah, okay. Why did you allowed her bought that car if it _is_ as ugly as you said it is?”

“ _I did not give her permission to buy that hideous car! Elle and I even tried to buy her another car, which she refused. She’s stubborn, your daughter._ ”

“Oh, so she’s my daughter now?”

“ _Well yeah. She’s just like you, you know. I could not understand a single word she said everytime she’s gone all science on me._ ”

“Gone all science? Shay, I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“ _Yeah right. I need to go now Cosima. Don’t forget to send me your itinerary, alright? And are you sure you don’t want to spend the holiday in our guest house? It will save you more money._ ”

“Nah, don’t worry about that. Scott lend me his apartment.”

“ _Okay then if you’re sure. I got to go now, see you._ ”

“Yeah, see you in Paris. Say hi to your wife, yeah.”

“ _Sure. Bye._ ”

Cosima put her phone next to her laptop, and continue writing an email for Scott that’d been delayed when her ex wife called her. She’s glad when Scott offered her to live in her apartment while he, his wife, and son went to visit Scott’s parents in Canada so she didn’t have to live in Shay’s guest house for three weeks. And Scott’s also glad because he didn’t have to bring his cat or pay extra money for someone else’s to take care for his cat.

Paris. Cosima haven’t visit that place for years, almost two decades in fact. Even after her daughter decided to live with her other mother after graduated from middle school. Tessa’s the one who always visited her on summer vacation. She’s nervous somehow.

Cosima open the drawer on her desk, and reach for a box inside it. Cosima bit her bottom lip as she put the box in front of her. The small box contained a lot of memories from her past. A time when Cosima’s still studying for her master. She open the box, and see a lot of letters, and old photographs. _Her_ photographs. Cosima slam the box close. She put her glasses on the table before closing her eyes and piched her nose bridge. Her head’s full with memories of _her._ Even after all these years, Cosima could imagine Delphine’s smiles easily.

Cosima feel sick. It’s been 20 years since the last she heard from Delphine. Since Delphine decided to went back to France and married the man her parents chose for her. Since Delphine left Cosima. Cosima remembered the day when she begged her to stay, to marry her instead. It lead to one last tearful fight between them and Delphine left the next day anyway.

A sound from Cosima’s laptop caught her attention again. It’s a message from the faculty dean where Cosima work as a university lecturer. Never in her life Cosima thought she’ll be a university lecturer. She always thought she’ll work in a lab, working on some biology thing, like clones, maybe. But she changed her mind after Delphine left, and accepted an offer to teach at University of Minnesota after she finished her doctorate.

Just a week before she fly to Paris and meet her daughter. Cosima feel so excited to finally see her daughter again after almost a year. She can’t wait.

 

* * *

 

 

Margaux sighed tiredly. She haven’t sleep properly for days. Her exams were finally over yesterday, so she could focus on her mother. Thank God for her boyfriend, Antoine, and her bestfriend, Anastasia. They often came to the hospital to check on her, make sure she’s eating properly. Antoine even offer to wait here in the hospital so Margaux could go home and get some rest. But Margaux refused, she doesn’t want to leave her mother side. After all, besides her twin brother, she’s all Margaux have left.

“ _You should get some rest_.”

Margaux look up and see Dr Caron smile at her. “ _It’s okay. I’m okay._ ”

“ _Margaux, we’ll be here for your mother. You shouldn’t push yourself this hard. Go home, take a shower, and get some sleep, okay?_ ”

“ _I can’t just leave my mother behind. It’s not right._ ”

“ _But if you keep treating yourself like this_ you _get_ _will sick too. And who’s going to be here for your mother if you got sick too, hmm_?”

Margaux know Dr Caron has a point. She sigh again, and nod. She also made her promise to call her anytime if something goes wrong, and that she’ll be back first thing in the morning. Dr Caron smile patiently, and promise her.

Inside Margaux mother’s room, Dr Caron is reading her chart. Nothing’s change. She put the chart back in the place, put her hands in her pockets, and walk out of the room. She remembered she was already told Margaux to consider turning off her mother’s life support, which Margaux said she need to discuss about it first with her brother. Dr Caron know it’s not an easy decision, and from what Dr Caron had heard from Margaux, her mother is the only family she and her brother have left.

“ _Elle! Wait up_!”

Dr Elle Caron stop and turn her head. “Jean, _what is it_?”

“ _You were just from Room 324 right_? _How’s the patient_?” asked Jean Mercier, the youngest doctor in this hospital.

“ _No progress. Her vitals seems fine, but I don’t know why she hasn’t awake yet._ ”

Jean nodded. “ _Where’s the daughter_? _Margaux isn’t she_?”

One of Elle’s eyebrow shoot up, “ _Don’t tell me you have a crush on Mrs Beraud’s daughter_.”

The young doctor couldn’t help but blushed.

Elle chuckled. “ _I sent her home. She needs some rest. And you do know she already has a boyfriend, right_?”

“ _No ring in her fingers means I still got a chance to change her heart._ ” Jean grinning widely at his superior. “ _Elle, do you think there’s a chance for Mrs Beraud_?”

Elle nodded, “ _I’m sure if she has a willing to live, she will. But the problem is, Jean, does she have a motivation to live?_ ”

“ _She has to. I mean, for the sake of her kids, right_?”

“ _I don’t know, Jean. Sometimes, that doesn’t enough_. _Not for some people, and I never knew who Delphine Beraud was before she got into that car accident. So I don’t know if her children alone is enough to keep her alive._ ”

But Elle’s hope it’s enough. She would love to see a smile in the young woman’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thankyou so much reading my very first fic (:
> 
> have i told you that in this fic, Cosima doesn't have dreadlocks anymore and instead she has a short shoulder length wavy hair?

First and last time Cosima visited Paris was with Delphine, a year after they started dating. She remembered how nervous Delphine was when she told her parents that she didn’t came by herself, that she bring someone special with her. Cosima was there, holding her hand tightly when her parents screamed at Delphine for dating a girl. She was there, when Delphine cried herself to sleep in their small hotel room because Delphine’s parents refused to even looked at their own daughter. It was not a good memory. But it was the only memory Cosima had about Paris. Right now, she’s hoping she could create a beautiful memory in Paris with her daughter.

Speaking of her daughter, Cosima was taken aback by how much Tessa looked like Shay. With the same wavy blonde hair, same facial features, she even has the same height as Shay. Well, she was Shay’s biologically. Her brown eyes, however, somehow is similar to Cosima’s. Tessa was also wearing a glasses, and shared Cosima’s passion in biology, and her haircut style. She’s now enrolled in one of universities in Paris, studying Biology.

Tessa smile widely when she saw her other mother, tongue poked through her teeth, she waves excitedly at Cosima, and didn’t waste much time before she ran through the crowd straight to her mother’s arms.

“You’re here! Oh my God, you’re really here! I can’t wait to show you my car. It’s not as good as other cars, but it’s my own, I bought it with my own money, and it’s _vintage,_ not _old._ It’s unique and not weird or ugly or anything. Before you’re asking, yes I bring my driving license with me everywhere, and I always put on my seatbelt—“

“Tessa Davydov Niehaus, stop talking.” Cosima laughed at her daughter endless talking. She was always been like that ever since she was a child.

“Right. Sorry. How’s your flight Mom?” Tessa took Cosima’s luggage and they started walking side by side through the airport.

“Uneventful.”

“You were sleeping all the way here, weren’t you?”

Cosima chuckled. “So what if I was sleeping all the way here? There’s nothing to see but a bunch of clouds, and water.”

Tessa rolled her eyes, “You’re no fun.”

The two women arrived in parking lot in no time. Cosima couldn’t keep her face straight when she saw her daughter’s car. Shay was right, it _is_ one very hideous car. What her daughter’s been thinking?

“What do you think? Isn’t she pretty!” Tessa looked proud with her car.

“It’s—well—it took my breath away.” _But not in a good way._

“Right?” Tessa smiled and pat her red car. “Let’s go, Mom. There’s so much I want to tell you.”

Cosima reminded herself to talk her daughter into buy another car.

* * *

Antoine was waiting for him when Claude arrived in Paris. Claude always like Antoine. He’s a year older than both Margaux and Claude, he’s smart, polite, and the most important thing is, he treated Margaux with respect. Claude was glad, when Margaux introduced him to Antoine last year.

“ _It’s been awhile, Claude. How’s your flight_?” asked Antoine while shaking Claude’s hand.

“ _It’s okay. Thank you for picking me up, you must’ve been really busy, I’m sorry to bother you like this._ ”

Antoine shrugged, “ _That’s alright, I couldn’t let Margaux pick you up. Not with her state, anyway._ ”

“ _How is she_?”

“ _She’s okay. She’s rarely sleep or eat, but overall, she’s fine._ ” Antoine helped Claude put his luggage in his car. “ _She missed you a lot, though._ ”

Claude smiled a little, “ _I missed her too. I feel really guilty that she had to went through this all by herself, while I’m away_.”

“ _Hey. She have me, and Anastasia. She’s not alone. She never will. Just so you know, if you need anything, anything at all, just give me a call, okay_?”

Claude smiled and nodded.

* * *

Margaux was a mess when she finally met her brother. She cried for a really long time in her brother’s arms, like she’s been holding back for so long. Claude cried with her sister. Both of them afraid for her mother, for themselves, and for the life they would be living if their mother don’t make it. Antoine left them for awhile to give the siblings some privacy, but he came back after an hour or so with a tray of coffees, and some breads for them.

It’s almost three weeks since the accident that put their mother here. She got a broken leg, and internal bleeding. The doctor said she should’ve awaken in few days, but here they are, three weeks later, and she still in coma. The doctor once again offered to turn off her life support. A choice which Claude refused to acknowledge.

“Non. _The answer will always no. I will not give up on my own mother._ ” Said Claude firmly when Dr Caron came to talk to them.

Margaux put her hand on Claude’s shoulder, “ _We need more time to talk about this._ ”

Claude was taken aback by his sister’s word, does she actually thinking about turning off their mother’s life support?

Dr Caron nodded at the siblings, and bid them goodbye. She said she’ll be back the next day, and give Margaux her number in case the siblings need to talk about the options.

“Mar—“

“Non, Claude, _I don’t want to hear a thing right now._ ”

“ _But, we shouldn’t give up this fast, Mar. She’s our mother_.”

Margaux looked at her brother the way she never looked at him before, she’s furious. “ _Don’t you think I know that? You think I don’t care? She’s been suffered enough, Claude. Maybe the reason she’s not yet awake is because she has no will to live._ ”

“Margaux—“

“ _Just, don’t,_ ” Margaux sighed tiredly, “ _I just don’t want to talk about it right now._ D’accord?”

She left before she heard Claude’s response.

* * *

“Mom, stop butchering this country’s language and let me talk.”

Cosima gasped. “How _dare_ you talked to your mother that way.”

Shay chuckled at both Cosima and Tessa. She always knew her daughter take after Cosima more than herself, and she’s always amazed by how they acted around each other. Tessa _is_ Cosima’s daughter. Tessa even wanted to have dreadlocks just like Cosima when she was young, but decided against it because she said she wouldn’t looked good on it, and decided to cut her hair shoulder length exactly like Cosima.

“She had a point though, Cos. You _are_ butchering this country’s language,” Shay sipped her wine, “next time, let Tessa talk.”

“See?” Tessa smiled smiled triumphantly at Cosima, her eyes glinting with mischief, “even Mama agreed with me.”

Cosima pouted at both Tessa and Shay. Not for long, because her pout changed easily into a smile when she saw a woman with long strawberry blonde hair approaching their table. The woman looked tired but she smiled widely at the sight of them.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” Elle Caron kissed her partner’s, and Tessa’s cheek, before turned her attention to Cosima, and shake her hand, “Hello again Cosima, welcome to Paris.”

“Thanks Elle, it’s good to see you again.”

“Likewise, Cosima.” Said Elle in a thick French accent. “Have you guys ordered yet?”

Shay nodded, “We have, and I already ordered for you, I hope you don’t mind.”

Elle smiled sweetly at Shay, and kissed her briefly on her mouth. “Of course not, _ma chérie_.”

Cosima’s face went blank, her hand that was holding her glass of wine stopped in mid air.

“Mom? You’re okay?”

Tessa’s voice brought Cosima back to reality. She plastered a smile on her face, “I’m fine, Tes.”

* * *

_“Ma chérie, please stop jumping on the bed before you get hurt.”_

_“But Delphine, it’s fun! Come up here and jump with me.”_

_“Cosima, get down, please. Just, come here.”_

_“Fine. You’re no fun. Do you know that?.”_

_“Tu m’aimes, mon pauvre petit chiot.”_

_“You’re the puppy.”_

* * *

They were driving towards Scott’s apartment when Elle’s phone suddenly ringing. She picked it up, and started speaking in rapid French. Cosima didn’t understand a word she said, but she could see her facial expression changed. Elle looked alarmed, she touched Shay’s shoulder. With only one word (“Hospital”), Shay understood.

“Change of plan, we’ll drop Elle at her hospital first.” Said Shay. Elle still busy talking to her phone.

Cosima just nodded. Beside her, Tessa was still busy with her own phone. The eighteen year old seems so occupied with her phone, she smiled to herself, and sometimes she looked like she was trying not to laugh. Cosima was curious, so she took the phone out of her daughter’s hand. Tessa, of course, was upset.

“Mom! Give me back my phone!” Tessa tried to reach for her phone, but her mother was faster.

“I’m curious, who are you talking to.” Cosima replied calmly.

“Have you heard about that thing called _privacy_.”

“What’s your password?”

“Mom! I was just talking to Kira. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but she and Uncle Felix are coming this weekend. Uncle Felix told Kira and she told me not to tell you anything. There! You happy? Now give me back my phone!”

“Felix is coming?” Cosima felt herself grinning.

“Yes!” Tessa huffed and snatched her phone off of Cosima’s hand, grumbling under her breath.

They arrived in no time. Elle apologized to both Cosima and Tessa a couple of times, before she practically jumped out of the car the second it stopped. Tessa moved to front seat next to Shay.

“Want me to drive, Mom?” asked Tessa to Shay.

“No.” Shay responded. Tessa huffed, and she looked down to her phone again.

Through the glass, Cosima saw a girl, not much older than Tessa, standing in front of the hospital. Cosima couldn’t take her eyes away from the tall, slender girl with curly blonde hair, and cigarette in her hand who looked a lot like Delphine. Cosima wanted to take a better look, but the girl walked back into the hospital, and Shay started driving out of hospital. Cosima shaked her head, maybe being here in Paris made her imagining things.

But she was wrong.

* * *

 

_Pierre and Marie Cormier both looked furious towards their only daughter. Cosima hold Delphine’s hand tighter, she knew Delphine was afraid, she was too, but she also knew she needed to be brave for Delphine. She needed her._

_“Are you insane, Delphine? A woman?” Pierre didn’t even bother to talked in French. He didn’t care if Cosima heard and understand every single thing he said. Maybe he even wanted Cosima to understand, which is why he talked in English instead of French._

_“I love her, Papa. I really do, she makes me happy, like no one else could.” Delphine admitted with a small voice. Cosima never heard Delphine talked like that before, so defeated, and scared. Cosima desided she didn’t like that tone in Delphine’s voice._

_Marie sighed, “It’s just a phase, mon canard, it will go away. You’re still young, you’re just—experimenting.”_

_Delphine jumped to her feet, “I am not experimenting! I love Cosima, Maman, I really love her. Why don’t you understand? I’m in love with Cosima, I’m in a relationship with Cosima, she’s my girlfriend, and we’re living together.”_

_The last sentence caught Pierre’s attention. “You’re living together?”_

_“Yes. We are.”_

_Cosima held her breath, judging from Delphine’s parents expression, it wouldn’t ended up well._

_“Get out.” Pierre said with a low dangerous voice. “You are no daughter of mine. My daughter is not a homosexual.”_

_“Papa, please, don’t do this.” Delphine said weakly as tears filled her eyes._

_But both Pierre and Marie didn’t wanted to hear anything, they didn’t even looked at their only daughter when she and Cosima walked out from their house._

_Delphine was crying all the way from Lille to Paris. Cosima tightened her grip to the steering wheel, her heart ached for her girlfriend, she wanted nothing but to hold Delphine in her arms. They decided to cut their trip short and back to United States the next day. Delphine apologized to Cosima countless time for ruined their trip. Cosima smiled and kissed the woman she loved slowly, and sweetly._

_“I don’t care, Delphine, I really don’t. I just want you to be happy, and you clearly didn’t felt that way here.”_

_Delphine brought one of Cosima’s hands to her face and caressed her cheek while she looked deeply into her eyes, “Je t’aime, Cosima.” the trust and love  in her eyes touched Cosima deeply._

_“I love you too.” She whispered softly._


	3. Chapter 3

As Tessa’s biological father, Felix and Tessa doesn’t share anything in common. For Tessa, Felix was never her father, he was her favourite uncle, her fun uncle, an uncle she ran to when Cosima and Shay got divorced. Felix didn’t care, he loved his part as Tessa’s uncle. Besides, he made it clear from the very beginning that he didn’t wanted to be a parent, and would not demand anything from both Tessa or her parents. Cosima and Shay liked that arrangement. They told Tessa that Felix was her biological father since she was really young, she was ten when her parents told her about Felix. Young Tessa just shrugged and said that Felix would always be her uncle, and her parents are Cosima and Shay, and nothing could change that. Cosima was amused with what her daughter had said.

Kira, at the age of 24, looked like a carbon copy of her mother. Though her hair was lighter like her father, and she has a sweet personality like him too. Felix used to joke that Kira was a better, nicer, and taller version of Sarah, without all the scary make up. She and Tessa are really close, Tessa always loved having Kira around, and Kira treated her like a sister would. Sometimes, Tessa spend few weeks of summer with Kira, and her family in London. Also, Mrs S adored both girls, she liked spending time with them.

“You look old Cosima.” It was the first thing that Felix said to Cosima before hugging her.

Cosima’s eyebrows rose, pretend to be annoyed. “Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? There’s wrinkles in your eyes, Felix.”

“Piss off, Cos.” Felix playfully poked Cosima’s shoulder. Felix looked around, “where’s my bio daughter?”

Cosima pursed her lips, “Off to bathroom. Where’s Kira?”

“Bathroom. Maybe they’re having some kind of reunion there.”

Cosima laughed. “How’s everyone?”

“Well, if you’re asking about Sarah and Cal, they’re fine. Sarah still stubborn and stuff, but Cal loves her all the same,” Felix took his phone out of his pocket, and turned it on. He looked around and spotted two girls coming on their way. “Ah, there they are. About bloody time.”

Cosima turned her head and smiled at the sight of her daughter with Kira, talking, and laughing together. Arms linked around each other. Kira whispered something to Tessa’s left ear, which made the eighteen year old giggling. Kira looked up and smiled at her Aunt and Uncle.

“Hey Aunt Cos.” Kira smirked at Cosima. She let go of Tessa’s arm, and hugged her Aunt Cosima.

“I heard you’re already graduated from the academy. Congratulation Officer Manning.” Cosima ran her hand up and down Kira’s upper arm, beaming proudly at her niece.

Tessa looked surprised and turned to her cousin. Hands on her hips. “Really? And you said nothing to me?”

Kira groaned. “Who told you that? I bet it was Mum.”

“Actually, it was your Dad. I talked to Cal yesterday, and he told me. He really proud of you, and I’m proud of you too.” Cosima hugged her niece again, who groaned under her breath, and mumbling something about talking some sense to her father.

Tessa jumped to hug Kira and congratulate her too.  She knew Kira was always wanted to be a detective just like their late Aunt Beth. Kira studied really hard in academy and was the best candidate in her year.

They were walking to parking lot, sharing stories, and catched up with each other. Cosima heard about Felix’s long time boyfriend who was a lawyer in London, and how much he get along with Sarah, and Cal. They also talking about their plan for Christmast, which according to plan they were supposed celebrate this year christmast in Toronto, Alison’s house.

By the time they arrived at parking lot. Tessa couldn’t help but bragged about her new car. Felix’s eyebrows gone up, and Cosima tried hard not sighed or rolled her eyes. Kira, however, was as blunt as her mother.

“My God, Tess, your car is ugly.”

Felix and Cosima couldn’t stop themselves from laughing really hard at Kira’s honest opinion. Tessa, however, was really shocked, her eyes wide, and her mouth wide open. She looked at Kira with disbelieve.

“I….you…what….Kira!” Tessa exclaimed. “It’s not ugly, it’s _vintage_.”

“What? It’s not vintage, it’s _ugly_. There’s a bloody differences between vintage and ugly. I can’t believe Aunt Cos let you have this car, let alone Shay and Elle.” Kira shaked her head in disbelieve.

“We’re not. But she’s too stubborn to listen to us.” Said Cosima truthfully.

“Mom!”

“I have to agree with Kira about this, little one.” Felix nodded seriously, but there’s hint of amusement in his eyes.

Tessa huffed, and muttered under her breath.

* * *

 

Felix and Kira stayed with Cosima in Scott’s apartment (who turned out knew about them coming to Paris), which made Tessa really happy, despite the disagreement between the two young ladies before. They ordered pizza for dinner, and Cosima went out to buy some wine with Felix and groceries, leaving the two girls alone for awhile.

“So. Kira’s really follow Beth’s footstep.” Cosima said. She carried two bottle of wine, while Felix carried some groceries for them.

“I know, she wanted to be a homicide detective just like Beth. I still don’t know what makes her really determined about that. I mean, she knew Beth died because some psycho shoot her.”

“She adored her. I mean, who wasn’t? Beth was really incredible. If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have known each other, Felix.”

“That’s true. And you sisters wouldn’t know each other.”

Cosima nodded in agreement. She still remembered when Beth contacted her for the very first time, and told her she was her biological sister. Cosima was sixteen, and Beth was only nineteen. Together with Alison, they were looking for their youngest sisters but it took them six years to find Sarah, and another three years to find Helena.

Beth was one of her sisters. She was the eldest out of five sisters, Alison was the second eldest, then Cosima, and the twins, Sarah and Helena. They were really young when their birth parents died in car accident, and they were all put in the system. Sarah and Helena were only few months old back then, Cosima was two, Alison was three, and Beth was five. They were separated and put in a different foster house. Cosima was adopted a year after her parents passed away, Alison was adopted awhile after that, and Beth three years later. The twins weren’t that lucky. Sarah was adopted when she was a year old and then moved to London, but her adopted parents died when she was five. Then she went to different foster houses for several years before they put her in Mrs S’s care. Mrs S became her legal guardian a year later. While Helena was kidnapped when she was playing with her foster parents. She was three years old at the time. No one knew who kidnapped her, or where she went. Until Sarah accidently found her on the internet. Helena never wanted to talk about her past. The sisters only knew she was raised by ukranian nuns, and she ran away when she was eighteen.

Felix’s phone rang. He stopped walking when he read the text. “Do you have any light bulbs?”

Cosima shaked her head.

“I got a text from the girls. Guess, we have to buy one for the bathroom.”

Kira and Tessa were watching Netflix in the living room, a slice of pizza on each hand. Scott’s cat was asleep between the two girls. Tessa’s other hand, the one which didn’t hold a slice of pizza, stroke the cat lightly. None of them realized Cosima and Felix were there until Felix sat beside Kira.

“Shite, Uncle Felix! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Kira jumped, which made the cat jumped, and ran into other chair. He looked annoyed.

Felix chuckled. He put his foot on the table, picked up remote control, and changed the channel. That caused the girls screamed at Felix.

“Uncle Felix! Give it back, we were watching!” Kira tried to take remote from Felix’s hand.

“Nope.” Felix hide remote behind his back, his other hand tried to stopped Kira.

But then, Tessa jumped out of sofa, and started attacking Felix. She too, tried to take remote from Felix.

“It’s not fair. There’s two of you and one of me.” Felix complained.

“Life is not fair, Uncle Felix. AHA!” Tessa claimed the remote, and changed TV channel again.

Cosima, on the other hand, ignored all the fuss and checked toilet’s lamp after she finished put all the groceries to the fridge and cabinets. The bulb was needed to change. Cosima went to Scott’s storage, and bring ladder to bathroom. She considered asking Felix to changed the bulb, but she could still heard he arguing with Kira and Tessa about television programs, so she decided to do it herself. She set the ladder, bring the new bulb, and start climbing it. Cosima carefully changed the bulb. She smiled at herself for this small achievement, and walking down the ladder.

Somehow, she slipped, and last thing she heard was the sound of herself hitting floor.

* * *

 

_“They are still my parents, Cosima.”_

_Cosima sighed. She sat on their bed, watching Delphine packing some of her clothes for her trip to France to visit her parents. Cosima was reluctant to let Delphine went there alone, especially after their little ‘incident’ when they visited her parents._

_“Do you want me to go with you?” asked Cosima, shifting on the bed, and crawled to the end of their bed, closer to Delphine._

_Delphine smiled, and put their lips together in a chaste kiss. “No need, mon amour. They wanted to see me, I will be fine. Don’t worry.”_

How could I not? _Cosima thinked. But she didn’t said that out loud, afraid it would offend Delphine in some way. After all, they_ are _Delphine’s parents. They would not do anything harsh to their own daughter, their only child._

_“Just promise me, you will be safe.”_

_“Je promets.”_

_“And bring me something pretty.”_

_At this, Delphine laughed, and kissed Cosima again. This time, she kissed her longer._

* * *

Margaux rested her head on her brother’s left shoulder. Her mother was fine, even after a seizure that made the siblings really afraid for their mother’s life. Margaux closed her eyes, at least Claude was here with her, at least she wasn’t alone.

Claude looked at his watch, it’s almost midnight, and he was really tired. He needed sleep, and he haven’t been home since two days ago. Claude considered to come home to take a shower and maybe sleep for an hour or two. But as he looked down at his twin sister, he didn’t know if he could leave Margaux alone in this hospital. Again.

“ _I could hear you thinking._ ” Said Margaux, both her eyes were still closed.

“ _I don’t know what were you talking about_.”

Margaux shifted in her seat, and looked up to her brother. She studied her brother for awhile, then gave him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “ _You’re tired. Go home, and get some rest. I will be here for Maman._ ”

Claude shaked his head, “ _I couldn’t leave you here alone, again_.”

“ _I will be fine, Claude. I went home yesterday and got enough rest. It’s your turn now, just to be fair._ ” Margaux playfully wrinkled her nose. “ _Besides, you’re stink. You need a shower,_ badly _._ ”

“ _Cheeky._ ” Claude chuckled and ruffled her sister’s hair.

“ _Go home, Claude. I will be fine, really. I promise._ ”

Claude looked at his sister, he knew she’ll be fine. But he couldn’t help but worry for her. Although, he also knew how stubborn his sister is, and how she wouldn’t accept no for answer. Claude sighed, and nodded his head.

“ _Fine. I’ll go home. But I will be back for you, tomorrow morning. And tomorrow, you will come home, and get some rest too. Alright?_ ”

Margaux smiled. “ _Of course._ ”

Claude leave shortly after their small conversation. Margaux walked Claude to lobby, even after Claude told her she didn’t have to. But Margaux needed that. She watched her brother through the lobby door until he disappeared from her view.

Margaux looked around, and she saw a vending machine. She bought coffee with that machine. It was cold and tasted a bit weird, but Margaux didn’t mind. She walked slowly to her mother’s room. The hospital was really quiet in these hour. She could heard her own footsteps sound echoed through the hall, and distinct sound of the nurses talking. Margaux was thinking, Claude never mentioned anything about turning off their mother’s life support after he refused the first time Dr Caron offered him. Margaux wanted him to considered that option. After all, it’s been almost a month after the accident, and there’s no sign whatsoever that their mother will come back to them. On the hand, Margaux understand what Claude meant by not giving up on their mother. She didn’t wanted to give up, but she’s tired, she’s really tired. Physically, and mentally. And it was only a matter of time before they running out of money too. It seems selfish but Margaux really want to get her degree, and she’s really sure that Claude want the same thing. She also knew her parents would want them to finish their degree. Her mother would have wanted that.

Margaux was lost in her own mind she almost didn’t realized that she was standing in front of her mother’s room. There’s something strange, the door was opened. Margaux frowned. She pushed the door slowly, and saw someone standing right next to her mother. They have their back on Margaux, and it seems that they didn’t realize Margaux was there. Margaux almost yelled for nurse, when this person turned to face her. Margaux stand still. She recognize that face. The hair looked different, but she recognize this person. She remembered her from her mother’s old photograph, from her stories.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to barge in and—oh shit, do you speak English?” the stranger rambled.

“I know you.” Margaux said with a thick French accent, she ignored everything the stranger had said before. She rarely used English, but she could understand and speak the language pretty well. Not as good as Claude, though.

“You do?” the stranger looked genuinely surprised.

Margaux nodded. “ _Oui_. Maman told me about you.”

“Who?”

Again, Margaux ignored her. “You are Cosima Niehaus.”

The stranger, Cosima, nodded. “Indeed, I am. And you are? How do you know who I am?”

“I’m Margaux Beraud, I’m Delphine Be—I mean, Delphine Cormier’s daughter.”

Cosima’s eyes widen. “Holy shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you think this story moving too fast?


	4. Chapter 4

First thing that Cosima saw when she opened her eyes, was Elle’s gentle smile. The younger woman was sitting on the edge of Cosima’s bed, still wearing her white coat, stethoscope around her neck, with her hair pulled up in a messy bun. Cosima wanted to ask her something, but instead she moaned in pain when a really bad headache hit her as she tried to move.

Elle reached out to Cosima, gently touching her shoulder, “Easy, Cosima. You hit your head pretty hard, we even needed to stitch your forehead. Do you remember what happened?”

Cosima poked her forehead, it was covered in bandage. She tried to remember what happened, but the last thing she could remember was Felix arguing with the girls about some television show. She shooked her head in confirmation, and looked around. It must be quite late at night, because the hospital seems more quiet than usual.

“You were changing your bathroom’s light bulb, when you fell down and hit your head to something quite sharp on the floor. They were worried about you, but I sent them home. They needed some rest.”

Cosima nodded in agreement, she don’t want them to stay up late at night in the hospital just to wait until she’s awake. Besides, Kira and Felix were just arrived after quite long journey, they need their rest. And Cosima was sure as hell she don’t want Tessa hovering over her.

“Do I have to stay here?” Cosima hated that she sounded like a child begging for her parents to take her home from the scary hospital.

“You can go home tomorrow, after the results of your test come. I guess you don’t like hospital, do you?”

“I spent _years,_ went in and out hospitals for either chemotherapy or surgery. I’ve had enough of hospital now. Which is why Shay’s the one who was having Tessa and not me.” Cosima joked, gave the younger woman a small yet genuine smile.

Elle chuckled, “I know, she told me that once. Still, you were great, you’re survived, you beat the cancer.”

“I know. But I’ll give that credit to my sisters, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them,” Cosima’s smile faltered a little bit as the image of a young curly blonde hair woman crossed her mind, “them and my then girlfriend.”

Elle recognized that look. A broken hearted look she was too familiar with. Before Shay came into her life, she used to have that look after her heart broken by her ex girlfriend. She looked at her watch, it almost time for her to check on her other patients. So she bid Cosima goodnight, and made her promise to get some rest.

Cosima was left with an eerie silence of the hospital that she was too familiar with. She still hated it, she preferred the defeaning sounds of the night club she used to visit. She still hang around the club from time to time, but she never stayed there until morning like she used to do when she was still in her 20s.

She tried to lay still and get some rest. But she didn’t feel tired, at all, and laying there in hospital bed made her mind wandering to places she didn’t want to remember. Cosima sat up in her bed, ignoring her pounding head. Thankfully, she didn’t have any IV on her hand, which made her move around easier. She stepped down from bed, and walked slowly towards her bedroom’s door. Maybe she could go for a little walk.

The hospital hallway was dark and empty. Well, it was midnight, of course it was dark and empty.  Cosima walked slowly around the hallway. She could faintly hear beeping sound from some of rooms. Cosima hated that sound, she remember when she was hospitalized a little after her surgery, she couldn’t sleep because of the beeping sound from the machine next to her. Delphine was there, she smile at her, and sang to Cosima’s ear until she fell asleep. Cosima smile to herself, Delphine never left her side through all of that, and she’s thankful for that, even though things didn’t ended up well between them.

Cosima squinting, it’s hard to see and read in the dark. She read the number of rooms and tags that placed beside the door as she walked pass by them. Curiosity poked her, when she read name of the patient in room 324.

_Beraud, Delphine._

The name ‘Delphine’ should’ve been a quite common name in France, Cosima thought. But still, her curiosity won her over. The room is half opened anyway, so Cosima could just peeked a little bit, and see if this Delphine was _The Delphine_ she had known.

Moon’s light beamed through the window which curtain remained open. Cosima’s eyebrows furrowed as she walked slowly, closer to the person who was laying in her bed, with machines surrounded her. It was really clear that the woman life depended on those machines. Cosima reached the side of bed, she saw curly blonde hair, and all too similar feature. Her heart sunk as she looked at the woman she used to in love with, in her hospital bed, looked so weak, and furnerable. Never in her life, Cosima thought she’d see a tough, independent, brilliant woman like Delphine Cormier in a state like this.

Cosima didn’t realise someone pushed the door wider, until she felt someone looking at her. She turned around, and saw a younger version of the woman who was laying in her bed. Or so she thought. This girl looked similar yet different, kind of like Cosima and her sisters.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to barge in and—oh shit, do you speak English?”

The girl studied Cosima carefully. The way she looked at Cosima felt like she recognized her. “I know you.” She said in a really thick French accent.

Cosima’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “You do?”

“ _Oui_.” The girl nodded slowly. “Maman told me about you.”

 _Maman_? “Who?”

“You are Cosima Niehaus.” The girl said in small voice.

“Indeed, I am. And you are? How do you know who I am?”

She hesitated for a while, then she sighed heavily, and shooked her head. She looked up, eyes straight to Cosima’s and speak in a more confidant tone.

“I’m Margaux Beraud, I’m Delphine Be—I mean, Delphine Cormier’s daughter.”

Cosima’s jaw almost hit the floor. Of course, she should’ve recognize her. This girl, Margaux, has the same blonde hair which somehow straighter than her Mother, same facial feature, and same posture. Margaux really looked like Delphine when Cosima first met her, young, tall and beautiful. Cosima was so shocked the only thing she could say after Margaux’s confession was:

“Holy shit.”

* * *

 

Margaux and Cosima ended up sitting in a long chair in front of Delphine’s room. They sat in silence for quite a long time, drowned in each other’s thoughts. Cosima couldn’t believe she sat there with Delphine’s _daughter_ beside her. A daughter she had with someone who had stole her away from Cosima. And Margaux couldn’t believe she was finally met _the_ Cosima Niehaus. A woman from her Mother’s story about her past.

“You know. Long ago, Delphine told me she always wanted a daughter named Margaux.” Cosima said suddenly.

Margaux tilted her head, curiosity painted her face. “She did?”

Cosima nodded, her mouth twitched. “Yeah, she did. I thought the name was too French, and kind of hard to pronounce you know. But she just love it, and she said it was beautiful.” She gave a warm smile to the girl. “It is a beautiful name, and I think it suits you well.”

“ _Merci_.” Margaux’s mouth curved into a smile.

“So,” Cosima cleared her throat, “how exactly did you know about me?”

She took in a sharp breath, ran her hand through her hair, and bit her lower lips nervously. Margaux never tell this too anyone, not even her twin brother. But as she looked at Cosima, who looked at her expectantly, she knew she would tell Cosima everything. Besides, she wanted to know the story from Cosima’s view, as her mother never tell her anything about her past. As the matter of fact, her mother never tell her anything about her past, except from schools. She never tell anything about her private life, her friends, her past lovers to her kids.

“Maman told me about you. I—it was after Papa’s funeral five years ago. I was fifteen and I couldn’t sleep, so I went to Maman’s room. She was looking through old photographs, I thought it was her and Papa, but I saw you instead. So I asked Maman about you, and she said you were her good friend from her past.”

Cosima nodded. She heard about Marceau Beraud’s death from Scott several years ago, he died from lung cancer, a disease that Cosima survived for.

Margaux studied her face before adding, “But you were more than a good friend of her, right? You were her—girlfriend?”

Cosima didn’t answer. She didn’t have to. Her face told Margaux everything she needed to know anyway.

“She looked happy when she talked about you, you know.” Small smile played in Margaux’s face. “Maman never loved Papa, and I think Papa never loved Maman as well. But they loved us, and gave us a really happy childhood.”

Cosima shaked her head. “She told me she loved you father, when she—left.”

“ _Non._ That’s not true. I saw them with my own eyes, they didn’t love each other.” Margaux said confidently. She paused for awhile, and asked Cosima a question. “Wait. She _left_?”

Cosima hesitated to tell the story to Delphine’s daughter about how her mother left Cosima broken hearted to marry her father.

Margaux saw that, the hesitation in Cosima’s eyes. She understand that, and did not pushed Cosima to tell her story. Instead, she asked Cosima, “Why are you here? To see Maman?”

Again, Cosima shaked her head, “I came here to see my daughter. She lives here with her mother, and her mother’s partner.”

Margaux tilted her head. “You have a daughter?”

“Yap. She’s eighteen now. My ray of sunshine.” Cosima chuckled, remember how much Tessa hated it when she called her that. She looked at the clock, it’s almost two in the morning. “I better get back to my room before my doctor scold me.”

Margaux nodded. They said goodnight, and Margaux watched as Cosima walked back to her room. She finally met the woman her mother talked about, a woman she knew her mother still in love with. Maybe she should texted her brother to bring a box in their mothers drawer this morning.

* * *

 

_“What do you mean you’re moving back to Paris?”_

_“It means I’m moving back to Paris, Cosima. There’s no other meaning to that.”_

_Cosima watched as Delphine packed up her clothes, and her personal things. She didn’t even looked at Cosima as she talked to her. Hell, Delphine didn’t even stay ten minutes in their apartment before throwing her stuff in her luggage._

_“Del, you know how I feel about long distance relationship. Why didn’t you talked to me about it before?”_

_Delphine stopped folding her clothes, she bit her lower lips, and spoke up with a small voice. “There will be no relationship Cosima.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Cosima,” Delphine sighed, and tried to reach Cosima’s hand._

_Cosima jerked away, “No, Delphine, tell me what do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?”_

_“I’m sorry.” Delphine’s voice cracked._

_Cosima leaned against the wall and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’re breaking up with me.”_

_“I have to.”_

_“You have to?”_

_Delphine flinched at the tone. Cosima never talked to her like that._

_“So your parents told you to break up with me and move back to Paris, and you just being a good girl you are. You’re doing everything they told you to, even after they kicked you out of their house.”_

_“Cosima…”_

_“No, Delphine, why would you want to go back to people who obviously didn’t want you to be yourself?”_

_“They are still my parents Cosima.”_

_“Bullshit.” Her hands squeezed into fists. “I know they are your parents, but—“_

_“I’m going to marry someone else.” Delphine cut her off. She covered his eyes with a hand._

_Cosima was surprised. She gave mirthless laugh, “You’re joking right? Please tell me you’re joking.” The last one came out more as plea._

_A tear came down from Delphine’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”_

_“No,” Cosima reached out for Delphine’s hand, hold it tight in her arms. She tried to look at Delphine’s eyes, but she hung her head, refused to look at Cosima. “Delphine, please don’t leave me.”_

_“I have to.” Delphine said with a small voice. She’s now crying._

_“No, no you’re not,” Cosima fell to her knees. “No, please, Delphine, I love you, don’t leave me. Delphine please, marry me instead, please I love you.”_

_Cosima kept begging Delphine to stay, to marry her instead, and telling her she loves her in between. Her arms now wrapped around Delphine’s hips, as she buried her face in Delphine’s stomach._

_Delphine ran her hand through Cosima’s short hair. She felt a pang of guilt. This woman just went through a lot, and now she’s leaving her. She took in a sharp breath, and kept her hands at her sides. Delphine tried hard not to cry, and gently pushed Cosima away from her._

_“Del, please, marry me, stay with me,” Cosima’s lower lip trembled, and tears shimmered in her eyes. “please don’t leave me.”_

_Delphine squeezed her eyes shut, and pushing Cosima away. But the petite woman was stubborn, she didn’t let go of Delphine._

_“Don’t, please, I love you, Delphine.”_

_“I can’t Cosima, please let me go.”_

_“No!” Cosima’s voice rang through their small apartment. “Give me one good reason why I should let you go.”_

_Delphine’s expression dulled as she opened her mouth and in a really steady voice she said, “Because I am in love with someone else, and I don’t love you anymore.”_

_Cosima’s expression hardened. Part of her knew Delphine just said this to her so Cosima would let her go, but another part of her just couldn’t ignored the pain those words had caused her. She got up to her foots, and walked passed Delphine. She grabbed her favourite red coat, and her scarf before walked away from her apartment. The last thing Cosima heard before she shut the door, was Delphine muffled sobs._


	5. Chapter 5

Claude watched her sister trying to open their mother’s secret box. He didn’t know (or asked) why Margaux insisted to bring that box to the hospital even though they both knew their mother kept the key closely with her, and it’s more likely she lost the key in the accident. But he bring the box with him anyway.

“ _Do you know what you’re doing_?” asked Claude as he popped few piece of chips to his mouth, and chewing loudly while watching his sister struggling with the box.

“ _I saw people doing this in YouTube and they successed. I can do this._ ”

“ _But Mar, they’ve been probably doing that for_ years.”

Margaux just shrugged and consentrate on picking the box lock with her bobby pin.

“ _What are you guys doing_?”

Claude turned his head and saw another blonde standing in the doorway with a tray of coffees in one hand and bakery bag in another. “ _Your girlfriend try to open that box. It’s been almost half an hour with no sign of succeeding._ ”

Antoine gave the twins his signature lopsided grin, he handed the bakery bag to Claude, and put the coffee tray to the table beside him. He approached his girlfriend and sat on the floor in front of her. He gestured Margaux to give him the box. Margaux looked at him with doubt in her eyes, but she soon sighed and gave Antoine the box and the bobby pin. It took him only ten minutes to unlock the box.

“ _How did you do that_?” Margaux exclaimed.

Antoine grinned. “ _Years of practice_. _What’s in this box anyway?_ ”

Margaux completely ignored him, and started looking through the box. Claude tilted his head, sipped on his coffee, and watched her sister looking through old photographs and something that seems like old letters.

“ _Is that Maman’s old photos?_ ” Claude asked with his mouth full of bread.

“ _Gross, Claude, just gross. Close your mouth._ ” Margaux rolled her eyes. “ _And yes, it’s Maman’s_.”

Antoine moved closer to his girlfriend, and looked through the pictures in Margaux’s hand. “ _You look just like her, Mar._ ”

Margaux nodded. She does look like her mother when she was her young, the only thing she inherited from her father was her green eyes. She skipped her mother’s pictures with her friends, put them beside her. Then she found her mother’s picture with her arms wrapped around a shorter woman with dreadlocks, and square glasses. Both of them glowing with happiness and smiling, as if their delight could leap off the photograph. Margaux smile, never in her life she had seen her mother smile like that, not even in her wedding pictures. She turned to her brother and gave him the picture.

“ _Who’s this? The woman beside Maman._ ” Claude didn’t take his eyes off of the photograph.

Antoine wrapped his left arm around Margaux shoulder as Margaux leaned into his touch. He saw other pictures of the women in different background. In a park, apartment, beach, and what it seems like a university library. They looked too intimate to be just friends.

“ _That was Cosima Niehaus. Maman’s girlfriend._ ”

Claude chocked on his coffee. “ _Girlfriend_?! _Did she tell you that?_ ”

Margaux shrugged, still looking through the box. “ _No need to, the pictures said everything didn’t it._ ”

“ _Margaux’s right. They were too intimate in this pictures to be just friends._ ” Antoine commented. He eyed his girlfriend, and smiled to himself.

“Aha!” Margaux exclaimed happily when she found a picture of her mother and Cosima kissing. She handed that picture to her brother.

“Merde.” Claude quietly said. “My mother’s gay.”

“ _Told you._ ” Margaux grinning.

* * *

 

The hot summer sun kissed Cosima’s cheeks as she walked through side of Seine River which cramped with tourist and local people who spend their summer noon. She should’ve been at home, resting, at least that’s what Tessa wanted. But Cosima couldn’t, she hated that. So she went out of the apartment when Felix and the girls went shopping for groceries.

It’s been a week since Cosima finally out of the hospital. Tessa had been hovering over her and didn’t allowed her to do practically anything, and told her to get some rest. But Cosima was as stubborn, if not more, as her daughter. A day after she’s out of the hospital, Cosima with Felix and Kira, went to several museums in Paris. Despite Tessa’s protest, she finally gave up, and went with her mother, uncle and cousin.

It’s also been a week since Cosima saw Delphine in the hospital.

Cosima told Felix about Delphine. Including all the stories that Margaux told her. The old Felix Cosima knew would tell her to get over Delphine and drag her to nearby club. Which was how she met Shay in the first place. Cosima wouldn’t have met Shay if Felix hadn’t found her curled up in her apartment wearing Delphine’s old shirt. Felix dragged Cosima to his favourite gay bar, forced her to drink, and told her multiple times to forget the willowy arse frenchie. But this grown up Felix didn’t say anthing the whole time Cosima telling him the story. In the end, he just told her to follow her heart, wherever it leads her. The thing is, Cosima really clueless about what to do with all the information this time.

She hated Delphine for leaving her, but in the same time she knew she would’ve chose her own parents over Delphine if they asked her to. As their only living daughter, Delphine felt she had to do anything to keep her parents happy, especially after her two older siblings died. Even if it means she had to leave Cosima, and married someone else. Part of Cosima understand that.

Their relationship wasn’t always like that. Cosima remembered the years she shared with Delphine, wonderful years she wished she could have back. She remembered the day they met, they just started their master program in University of Minnesota. Cosima knew she’d fell for Delphine since she laid her eyes on her. Delphine wore a white flowery t-shirt, pair of jeans, and black leather ankle boots, she knew she was a goner ever since. Delphine was there, when Cosima was diagnosed with lung cancer, and had always been there through her treatments and surgeries. Cosima was pissed when Delphine, who’s few months younger than Cosima, finished her doctorate before her because of her sickness, but proud of her at the same time.

A day before Delphine left her, Cosima had asked her Dad to sent her grandmother engagement ring. She wanted to ask Delphine to marry her. She planned to have a family with Delphine. Cosima imagined they would worked together in a lab and make crazy science together. They would have two sons and a daughter together, a dog, and a four bedrooms house with swimming pool and basketball hoop. She imagined they would grow old together.  

But she left her, and what Cosima had imagined became nothing but a dream.

Cosima looked up at the darkening sky. She frowned, hated the unpredictable weather these days. She couldn’t predicted wether there’ll be rain or not. The weather, for the moment, pushed other thoughts aside as Cosima walked down the street. She better move fast, before Tessa even realized that she’s gone.

* * *

 

_Cosima grinned happily, tongue poked between her teeth, everytime she saw Delphine walking through the door. She opened her arms widely, and embraced her girlfriend in one big bear hug. She kissed Delphine’s neck, and sucked it lightly, which made the blonde giggled. The sound made Cosima’s smile grew even wider if possible._

_“It’s not that I don’t enjoy this, but what makes you so happy ma chérie?” asked Delphine, she put her books on their coffee table, and sat on the leather couch Cosima had begged her to bought two weeks ago. Delphine had to admitted this couch was comfortable and a good addition to their new apartment._

_Cosima jumped to the couch, still grinning happily, next to Delphine. “We got a puppy.” She squealed loudly, jumping up and down with excitement._

_Delphine blinked. “A what?”_

_“A puppy! My friend from work had offered me to take one of his puppies since it became too crowded for him, and I agreed to take one. What do you think?”_

_“No.” Delphine said firmly._

_Cosima’s face fell. “No to puppy?”_

_“No to puppy.”_

_“But Delphine,” Cosima whined. “It’s a puppy. A cocker spaniel that looks just like you.”_

_Delphine sighed, if it was any other day, she knew she would have said yes to Cosima, especially when she pulled that face in front of her. But it was not a right time to get a dog. “And who’s going to take care of him, hmm?”_

_“Me.” Cosima said._

_Delphine sighed again. “Chérie, we’re both busy with our thesis, and exams. Plus we both have jobs, and between that we have house chores. We can’t have a dog, not now.”_

_Cosima pouted, crossed her arms, and leaned back to the sofa. Delphine couldn’t help but think how adorable her girlfriend looked right now (or as Felix had said, adorkable). A bit too childish but cute nonetheless. She had to bit her own lip to stop herself from giggling, and slide closer to the adorable geek monkey of hers._

_“Maybe someday, when everything is easier, and we have a house with huge backyard, then I will let you have a dog.”_

_Cosima tilted her head. “A house with huge backyard? Are you Delphine Cormier have planned something for our future?”_

_Delphine blushed. “No I’m not.”_

_“You are a terrible liar, my love.” Cosima chuckled, and rest her head to the blonde’s shoulder. “So tell me more about our future, Dr Cormier? Is there any swimming pool in our house?”_

_“I don’t want to. But you insisted on the pool.” Delphine smiled to herself, an image of older Cosima begged her to buy a house with a swimming pool came crossed her mind._

_“Yeah, of course. The kids would love having a huge swimming pool.”_

_“Kids, huh? How many kids are you talking about, mon amour?”_

_Cosima pursed her lips. “Three. Two boys with brown hair, and a little girl with blonde hair who looks just like you. Little Deacon, Cosmo, and Delphine Junior.”_

_Delphine laughed. “I would never name my daughter Delphine Junior. Deacon and Cosmo? Really, Cosima?”_

_“Why not? Cosmo is after my own name, obvs. And Deacon is a really cool name.” Cosima shifted and leaned closer to Delphine. “Then what our daughter name would be? I still vote for Delphine Junior. Or Cosima Junior.”_

_“Hmm,” Delphine clasped their hands together. “I think I would name her Margaux. I always think that’s a pretty name.”_

_“Margaux.” Cosima tested the name on her lips. She loved the feel of that name in her lips, kind of like Delphine's name. But of course, she didn't want to admit that. “That’s too French.”_

_“It’s beautiful though. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl.” she kissed Cosima's cheek. "And I know you love it, my love."_

_Cosima leaned in and captured Delphine’s lips with her own. "Well. If our daughter resemble you, then it would be a perfect name for her."_

* * *

To say Tessa was freaked out was an understatement. She was furious when Cosima came into the apartment after her long walk. Shay was there, trying to calmed their daughter down. She drived her ex wife and daughter to the hospital for Cosima’s check up.

Elle said she’s fine. Which earned a grateful sigh from both Shay and Tessa, Cosima just rolled her eyes, and Elle chuckled. Tessa ran outside to the bathroom, and Shay went out to call her co-worker. They leave Elle and Cosima alone in Elle’s office. They sat in silence while Elle checked on Cosima’s forehead.

“Okay. Everything’s seems fine. Do you have any discomfort, headache, or anything?”

“Nope. I’m fine.”

“D’accord,” Elle nodded and write down something on her note. “Then you’re alright. Next time, let someone help when you change the bulb. Okay?”

Cosima rolled her eyes, “Not you too. I’m very capable to do anything on my own.”

“I know that,” Elle smiled gently. “It’s just that, umm, everyone’s worried about you. Tessa, Felix, Kira, Shay, even myself.”

“I know. I felt awful about it. I didn’t mean to make everyone worried like that.” Cosima sighed. “Hey, Elle, can I ask you something?”

Elle nodded. “Sure.”

“There’s a patient here, in this hospital. She’s—she’s an old friend of mine. Her name’s Delphine. Do you know her?”

“Delphine? Do you mean Delphine Beraud?”

A pang of jealousy hit her. Her name should’ve been Delphine Niehaus Cormier. But she nodded anyway, because it _is_ her name no matter how much Cosima wished otherwise.

Cosima heard closely as Elle told her about the accident. She already heard that from Margaux, but listened from a doctor point of view was completely different. Delphine should’ve waken up few days after surgery. But it’s been more than a month and she doesn’t even show any sign of them. Her vitals seems fine, and she doesn’t have had any internal bleeding or anything. Elle said maybe Delphine didn’t even want to wake up.

“She’s the one, isn’t she?”

Cosima blinked. “What do you mean?”

“She’s the one who broke your heart.”

“Shay told you that?” Cosima frowned. She told her ex wife long ago about Delphine, and how she left her. It’s only fair, Shay was her wife.

“No one told me anything, Cosima. It’s in your eyes.” Elle leaned to her chair, her eyes study Cosima closely. “The way you talked about her. It's pretty clear you loved her.”

_She was the love of my life. And she left me._

Cosima shook her head. She told Elle she should get going soon, and walked out of Elle’s office without hearing her response. She absentmindedly walked upstairs instead of downstairs to lobby where she knew Tessa and Shay should be. Then she find herself in front of Delphine’s room. She sighed and opened the door. No one was there but Delphine, laying in hospital bed, with a lot of machine surrounding her.

Cosima sat beside Delphine, and for the first time in a very long time, she touched Delphine’s hand. She held her breath when she felt how cold Delphine was. Cosima held Delphine’s left hand with both her hands, as if trying to keep it warm.

“Hey, Del, it’s me. Do you remember me? Cosima?” whispered Cosima.

Nothing but beeping sounds of the machine answered her.

“I miss you. I shouldn’t have, but I do. I miss you so much.” Her voice breaks, as tears started running down her cheeks. “I wanted to marry you, you know. I loved you so much, too much I couldn’t love anyone as much as I love you aside from my daughter. We should’ve been happy together, as a family. I have to let you go, I wouldn't come here again. I need to move on, to live my life.”

Cosima wiped her tears away, and stand to her feet. She touched Delphine’s cold face, and leaned in. she murmured softly in Delphine’s left ear, and kissed her cheek.

“Goodbye, my love.”

* * *

 

Margaux walked inside the hospital. This place became her second home, after her mother hospitalized several weeks ago. She just walked her boyfriend, and Claude to Antoine's car. He'd drive Claude home before he went to the newspaper where he worked part-time as a photographer. Claude would be back to hospital at night, today is his turn to stay with their mother for the night. Antoine would picked up Margaux after work, and they would have dinner before they come home to Margaux's house.

The hospital lobby looked more crowded than usual. Margaux walked to a coffee machine, and reached for coins in her pocket. She froze as found an envelope in her left pocket. it's a letter she found in her mother's box, a letter addressed to the one and only, Cosima Niehaus. Her mother wrote this letter to Cosima after her father died, according to the letter's date that is. She wanted to give this letter to Cosima, but she didn't know how to reached her. She didn't tell anyone she had met Cosima, not even her brother or boyfriend. She tried to find Cosima the next day after she met her, but the nurse said she's no longer in hospital and they refused to tell her anything to Margaux. Margaux sighed. She really wanted to give the letter to Cosima. She didn't read the letter, she really wanted to, but she knew she shouldn't. 

Margaux hold her latte on her right hand, as she walked up the stairs. She could've taken elevator, but since she haven't been exercise for awhile, she decided to take the stairs. She sipped on her coffee, and turned left to the hallway then stopped. She couldn't believe her luck as she saw Cosima waiting for the elevator. The letter in her right pocket felt heavy in her jeans, she shouldn't let this chance slip away.

The elevator doors opened, when Margaux yelled her name. But it's too late, Cosima already walked inside the elevator and the doors had already closed.

"Merde!" Margaux cursed under her breath.

She turned back, and ran downstairs, completely ignoring everyone who told her to slow down and the nurse who practically yelled at her to stop running inside the hospital. She didn't care. She  _have_ to give this letter to Cosima, for her mother's sake. As she jumped off of the stairs, she looked around, and found the familiar petite woman walking towards the door.

"Cosima!" Margaux yelled, running towards the older woman. "Cosima! Wait! Cosima!"

The young blonde woman beside Cosima turned around, her left eyebrow lifted as she saw Margaux waving, and yelled Cosima's name. She nudged Cosima, and talked to her. Margaux didn't know what they were talking about. But Cosima stopped walking and turned around. Her eyes wide when she saw Margaux running towards her. Margaux took that chance and run faster.

"Hey," Margaux panted, both her hands were on her hips, "I, uh, I need to give you this."

Cosima frowned, not taking the letter from Margaux's hand. "What's this?"

"It's a letter, from my Maman. She never sent this, but I think you should have this."

Cosima stared blankly at the letter. "No."

"What?" Margaux startled. 

"I said no. There's nothing I wanted or needed to hear from your mother. We were done. She left, and I've moved on. I have to go." Cosima looked straight into Margaux eyes, and turned away from her. She walked fast towards the parking lot.

"But--" Margaux felt someone cathed her forearm.

The young blonde woman smiled sympathetically to her. "Don't. My mom is a really stubborn woman, you wouldn't be able to change her mind. I'm Tessa, by the way."

"I'm Margaux. I really need to give this letter to your mother."

"I'll give it to her, if you don't mind that is."

Margaux weighed her option. Between giving the letter to Cosima Niehaus's daughter and waiting for a chance to run into her like that again, the decision was easy, of course she'd give the letter to her daughter with a hope Cosima would read the letter. So she handed the letter to Tessa, who received it with a smile on her face. 

"I will try to persuade her to read this letter. But I give you no promise, sometimes she's too stubborn for her own good."

Margaux nodded.

Tessa bid her goodbye and ran towards the parking lot. She looked over her shoulder for the last time, and couldn't help but think how much this girl looked like Delphine Cormier.


	6. Chapter 6

 

She was twelve when her parents got divorced. Tessa remembered the day her parents told her about their divorced as if it was yesterday. She was angry, hurt, and most of all, confused. Tessa knew her family was not ‘normal’ since she was young. While most of her friends parents have a Mom and a Dad, Tessa has two Moms, but they love and adore their only daughter. Growing up, Tessa witnessed lots of her friends parents got divorced, she never thought hers would be. Her parents seemed fine, they never fought like her friends told her about their parents before their parents got divorced. Cosima and Shay almost never fought, when they had, it was because they had disagreement over Tessa.

Tessa lived with Felix for two weeks of summer or so while her parents finalized their divorce. She was glad she could getaway from all the fuss, and spent a lot of time with her cousin Kira, her Aunt Sarah, Uncle Cal, and Mrs S.

Tessa was looking through old photo album in Felix’s apartment when she found her mother’s picture with a beautiful blonde woman. It must have been her Aunt Alison and Uncle Donnie’s wedding. Alison wore a simple yet beautiful strapless empire waist gown, and Donnie with white tuxedo and bow tie. On Alison’s right, Tessa saw her late Aunt Beth with her then fiancé, Paul, and her Aunt Helena. While Sarah stand on Donnie’s left, with Cosima and the blonde woman she didn’t recognize. She saw another picture of her mother with the same woman dancing, and another picture of them kissing. Never in her life, Tessa saw her mother smile like that. Tessa’s curiosity bought her to the only person who was there at the time, her Uncle Felix.

“That is Delphine Cormier. You mother’s ex girlfriend.” Felix said, he smile sadly as he stroke the picture slowly.

Tessa frowned. “I’ve never seen Mom this happy.” That was true, never in Tessa’s life she had seen her mother smile like that. Even before her marriage collapsed.

“Because no one could make her as happy as Delphine made her. But she left and broke your mother’s heart.”

Tessa wanted to ask more about who’s this Delphine Cormier. But looking at her Uncle’s face, she knew better than to ask.

Tessa looked thorugh internet but this Delphine never used Facebook or any of social media. But she found out a Dr Delphine Cormier who’s working at a science based company called DYAD Institute. She opened the page and saw the same yet older version of the beautiful blonde woman, she was the head of immunology department in that company. Tessa was fascinated when she found an article about a cure for some lung disease, and Delphine was the head of a team who found that cure. She’s amazed by Delphine’s beauty and intelligence. No wonder why her mother fell really hard for this woman, Tessa had thought.

“Don’t you think she should’ve read the letter by now?” Kira’s question had taken Tessa’s attention.

“Hmm? Then you don’t know my Mom at all. She’s too stubborn. I don’t think she’ll read it in a very very long time.”

“But she’s finally accepted the letter. That’s great.”

Tessa snorted. “Yeah, after almost two weeks. I think she accepted the letter just to make me stop talking to her about it.” Tessa sipped her coffee. “And in case I haven’t told you, she just shoved the letter down her pants right away.” She added.

Kira chuckled. They were sitting in one of Tessa’s favourite coffee shop after a long walk. Kira just bought some things her mother and some of her friends asked her to. Kira couldn’t believe it’s almost the time for her to came back to London. She loved spending time with her favourite cousin. But she have to went back to Academy soon, and Felix have to get back to work too.

“Hey Kira, do you think my Mom’s happy?”

Kira stopped texting her mother at Tessa’s serious tone. She looked up with both eyebrows raised. “What do you mean? She looks happy.”

Tessa sighed. “I just—I don’t know.”

“Don’t overthink something that you don’t even sure,  sweety,” Kira put her phone down, and reached for her cousin’s hand, squeezed it gently. “She’s happy and she’s proud of you. Don’t ever forget that.”

Tessa nodded, really and desperately wanted to believe that.

* * *

 

Margaux sighed heavily, tears running down her face. Antoine rubbed her back in circle beside her, trying to comfort his sad girlfriend who was just gotten into fight with her twin brother. One tearful shouting match which ended up with Claude slammed the door before walking outside their house, and Margaux crying on the couch in their living room.

“ _Hey, it’s okay, it’s all going to be alright. He’ll come around._ ” Antoine whispered.

Margaux gave him a mirthless laugh. “ _Do you think he will come around with the idea of letting our mother die? I don’t think so._ ”

Antoine knew this would happened when Margaux finally comfronted her brother on their option regarded their mother. Margaux told him to really considered to let their mother go. Claude was furious, he said he wouldn’t give up on their mother and neither should Margaux.

“ _I should get back to hospital._ ”

“ _Mar…_ ” Antoine watched his girlfriend frantically put her things to her bag. “ _You haven’t sleep at all last night._ ”

“ _I should go, I couldn’t._ ” fresh tears running down her cheeks again.

Gently, Antoine pulled his girlfriend to his embrace. He felt Margaux’s hands wrapped around his middle as he rest his chin on top of Margaux’s head.

“ _It’s going to be okay. I will always be here._ ”

* * *

 

Claude was running, and running, and running, until he was out of breath. He looked around, trying to recognize where he was standing right now. Claude recognized the street, he used to came here with his father after Claude’s baseball practice every Saturday. His father’s favourite coffee shop was just around the corner. Claude missed him, he was his best friend. He already lost one parent and he about to lose another one. Claude understand what his sister meant when she confronted him about their mother. Only two weeks before Claude has to get back to United States, and Margaux to her school. He knew their mother would have been so upset if they give up on their school to take care of her. But the thought to _actually_ put off their mother’s life support, and let her die was too much for him.

Absentmindedly, Claude walked down the street, and stopped in front of his father’s favourite coffee shop. Next thing he knew, he was sitting inside the café near the window with a cup of espresso, and a croissant in front of him.

And a decision in his mind.

* * *

 

Felix leaned to wall, he watched Cosima out in the balcony watching as the sky turned dark, her back on him. He was worried about her. Sure, she seems fine outside, especially in front of Kira and Tessa, but he knew she was not alright. He knew Delphine had a huge influence on Cosima since day one, and when Cosima told him that she saw Delphine, Felix knew he shouldn’t intervere with this one. He intervered once, and while it gave Cosima a family she always wanted, in the end that didn’t worked out. Cosima never loved Shay as much as she loves Delphine, everyone could see that. Even her own daughter realized that.

Tessa told him about the letter from Delphine. She said some girl tried to give it to Cosima, but she refused, said she didn’t want anything to do with Delphine anymore. Tessa and Felix both knows it was a lie. The girl, Tessa said, looked like a young Delphine she saw in the photograph. Felix assumed the girl Tessa’s been talking about was Delphine’s daughter that Cosima’s told him before. While he and Tessa wanted Cosima to read the letter as soon as possible, Kira smacked them both and told them to give her aunt some space.

“She’ll read it when she’s ready.” Kira had said.

The young woman was right, Felix realized. The more they pressured her to do something, the more Cosima refused, and eventualy bailed on it. So he kept his distance. Tessa, however, was a whole different story. Felix had to dragged her away from her mother.

Felix sighed and silently walked to the balcony. “Darling, if you keep standing there, I would thought you actually thinking of jump out of this balcony.”

Cosima jumped in surprise, hand flew to her chest. “Damn Felix! You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Seriously Cosima, you’ve been here for hours, and you haven’t eaten since morning. I’m worried, okay.”

“Well, don’t be, ‘cause I’m fine.” Cosima gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Seriously, though. I’m good.”

“We’ve known each other for a really long time, Cosima. I’m your daughter’s bio father, for crying out loud. So I know you well enough and you know you’re bad at lying.”

Cosima looked down, as if the streets down there became such an interesting thing to watch.

“Cosima…”

“What do you want me to say Felix?” Cosima suddenly snapped.

“I—I don’t know! I just want you to start being honest with yourself and people around you!”

She scoffed. “What makes you think I’m not being honest with myself, or with you, or with anyone for that matter.”

“Because you’re not.” His eyes narrowed.

Cosima’s jaw clenched. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She turned around and walked inside the apartment.

Felix followed her closely. “Yes I do know. I know enough. I know that you’re—”

“What?!” Cosima turned abruptly, almost hit Felix in the face. Her pupils flared.

“That you’re still in love with Delphine!”

Felix held his eyes bored into her.

Cosima opened her mouth, just to closed them again. She shaked her head, and turned around. She slammed the door hard before walking out of the apartment. Leaving Felix alone in living room. He sighed heavily and sat in the couch, hand over his head, and mumbled to himself.

“Bloody hell, Cosima.”

* * *

 

She checked her watch as she walked down the road with a backpack on her shoulder. It’s almost midnight, yet the street still cramped with people. Summer made everyone spent more time outside, trying to get their skin a little more brown than usual pale although the sun already set almost two hours ago.

She reached inside her jeans pocket and pulled out her phone. She dialed a number she already memorized, and press the green button.

“ _Hello.”_ Man on the other side answered lazily.

“Don’t fall asleep. I’m coming over.”

The man mumbled under his breath, too low for her to hear. “ _It’s bloody midnight, and what do you mean you’re coming over?_ ”

“It means I’m coming over to where you stay right now. Do I have to explain every bloody thing to you, Fe?”

 _“Holy shite. Are you in Paris?_ ”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you think I’m walking there from London?”

“ _Oh bugger. You’re really here._ ”

“Watch out with the tone, Fe. I could still break your arms.”

“ _What are you—“_ she could hear sound of broken glass. “ _Oh bollocks! Bloody cat!_ ”

“You’re alright there, Fe?”

“ _Just a fucking cat,_ ” he cursed again. “ _Sarah, where are you right now_?”

“Close.” Sarah’s eye caught a sight of a bar. “There’s a bar nearby. Do you want to grab a drink with me? For old time sake. We always bring Cal everytime we went out for drink you know.”

“ _You’re the one who’s always bring Cal with you, and shagged him behind the bar._ ”

“Piss off, Fe.”

“ _Text me the address. I need a fucking drink right now. I also need to talk to you about your sister._ ”

“Which one?”

“ _Dreadlocks._ ”

“Well. Technically, she didn’t have those anymore. What’s up with her?”

“ _I’ll tell you later. Send me the address._ ”

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost end (:


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really nervous. tell me what you think.

Cosima was really happy when she woke up to see the grumpy, and hang-over Sarah Manning sleeping in the couch. She was so happy she squeal in delight and jumped to hug the sleeping Sarah. Sarah groaned in protest, and almost threw up at her older sister if only Kira hadn’t pulled her aunt away from her mother then gave Sarah a bucket just in time before she finally threw up. Tessa just sat in the kitchen, pretending all of those didn’t happened, eating her cereal while texting with Shay.

Sarah spent most of the day on the couch. Between sleeping, eating, and groaning, Sarah talked to Cosima once, asking her to buy some aspirin for her headache. Felix just spent all day sleeping in his bedroom.

It was almost dinner time when the foster siblings finally got up and took a shower. The apartment was empty because Tessa was with her other mother, Kira with her friends who happened to visit Paris, and Cosima went to book store.

“This headache is killing me.” Sarah complained. She sat on the counter, massaging her forehead with both her thumbs.

“I think that’s because of our age.” Felix reached for a cup and filled it with tap water, drinking it slowly. He too felt a really bad headache even though he only drink couple of bourbon.

“Oi.” Sarah exclaimed. “We’re not _that_ old. We could still handle our drinks.”

“I didn’t say we couldn’t handle our drinks. But I think we should cut that off. We’re not that old, but we’re not that young anymore.” Felix filled another cup with a tap water and gave them to Sarah, then sit in front of her. “Remember when we were Kira’s age? We drank two times what we had last night, and we could still caused problems the next day.”

Sarah smiled and laughed softly. “Yeah. Caused Mrs S lots of trouble did we.”

“ _You_ were the one who caused her the most trouble, and got knocked up by Cal.”

“Pissed off, you love my daughter.” Sarah grinned at Felix. “Anyway. What you said about Cosima, are you sure she’s still love the French blondie? It’s been two decades Fe.”

Felix pursed his lips. “Well. It’s been almost three decades but you still love Cal, don’t you?”

“That’s different, Fe. They haven’t seen each other in those times. Cosima had been married once, and so did Delphine, both of them married another person.”

Felix smiled sadly. “The thing is, Sarah, if you really love someone nothing could change that. Not even time. They still love each other, I guaranteed that.”

“What makes you so sure? Have you talked to Delphine?” Sarah frowned. “Wait that’s not possible. You said she’s in coma.”

“I read her letter.” Felix said casually. He take an apple on the bowl next to him and bite it.

“Cosima will cut your head off, you know.”

Felix shrugged. “She wouldn’t know. I’m a pro, years of practice.”

* * *

 

Cosima knew Felix read Delphine’s letter, she also knew he thought she didn’t know about it. She snorted, of course she knew, she was not a fool. Mrs S used to tell her lots of stories about Felix looking through her mail and pretend nothing happened. If it was someone else, they probably won’t suspicious, but Mrs S was not an easy person to played around, she realized right away when she touched her letters. But she never told anyone, except Cosima.

The letter felt heavy on her pocket. Part of her really curious and wanted to read the letter right away, but the other part of her kept telling her that she didn’t want anything to do with Delphine anymore, kept reminding her that the blonde left her.

She wrapped her arms around herself, shifted in her park bench. Cosima could go back to the apartment, and spend time with her sister, but somehow she didn’t want to. She knew Sarah knows about Delphine’s letter, there’s no way Felix would shut his mouth about it. They’d probably just tell her to move on and forget about Delphine, just like they did decades ago.

She reached inside her pocket, pulling out a small white envelope with Cosima’s name on top of them. She looked up, her eyes fixated on a couple of young brunette and blonde girls, walked hand in hand across the park. The taller blonde leaned, and whispered something in the smaller brunette’s right ear. She giggled, and kissed the blonde on the lips, completely oblivious to Cosima or anyone in that matter. Cosima kept looking at them for quite some time, before her gaze dropped to the letter in her hands.

Cosima bit her lower lip, she didn’t know why she was so nervous, so nervous her hands trembled at the thought of finally reading Delphine’s letter. She paused, thinking about it a little bit more. Then she tear the envelope, pulled out the folded paper inside. There’s no going back now, Cosima thought to herself. Slowly, she unfolded the letter, and her eyes met with familiar small and neat handwriting.

* * *

 

_Ma très chère Cosima,_

_It’s been years since the last time we met, I miss you. I know I shouldn’t have said that, but that’s the truth, I really do miss you. I thought with time I’m going to forget about you, about us, and in the end, I would fall out of love with you. But I couldn’t. I heard from Scott that you’re now a wife and a mother. I just wanted you to know that I have no intention on coming between you and your family. I wrote you this letter because I know I owe you explanation and apology for what happened._

_Chèrie, everything I told you on the last day we saw each other, was a lie. I didn’t fall for anyone else, I was so in love with you I knew I couldn’t love anyone as much as I love you. I’ve told you the reason why I came back to Lille in the first place, because Papa was sick. What I didn’t tell you is that they also used that opportunity to persuade me to stay there and marry a man. Of course, I refused. I was angry and told them I would never marry anyone but you._

_Two days after that, Papa was hospitalized. The doctor said there’s nothing else he could do. My father was dying, Cosima. He kept begging me to at least meet Marceau, and stay there. Seeing my father like that, I know I couldn’t refused. No matter what have they done to me, to us, they were still my parents. So I finally agreed to meet Marceau. Papa was so happy, even though I said nothing about marrying him, and he couldn’t come with us to a dinner he’s so desperately wanted._

_Maman invited Marceau and his parents over to dinner in our house. Marceau’s parents were my parents old friends and collegues, Papa and Marceau’s father were friends since college,  so I knew Marceau since I was young. We were good friends growing up, we spent holidays together as I child and teenager. But we lost contact after we both got into college, he got into a university in England, and I was in US. After dinner, Marceau and I took a walk around the neighbourhood. We talked, and I realized that we’re both in the same place. Just like me, Marceau was also in love with another person. While I was in love with a woman, he fell in love with a man. We understand each other better than I’ve ever thought we would. Maman thought the dinner was a success, she told Papa about how Marceau and I get along well, I also remember distinctly she said something about we had a connection. Little did she know._

_Of course my parents weren’t stop there. They kept pushing and encouraging me to marry Marceau. Once, Papa said something about his illness, and how much he wanted to walk me down the aisle. He tried to make me feel guilty and he did make me feel guilty. At the time I still made up my mind not to marry someone else’s but you._

_Then Papa got a heart attack, he almost didn’t make it, Cosima. I’ve never seen Maman that scared my whole life, and it scared me too. I started to think what my parents had been through. I’ve told you my older brothers died in a airplane crash shortly after takeoff when both of them travelling around the world together after finished high school. I just couldn’t let my parents went through the same thing with me, I’m the only one they have left. So I talked to Marceau about it. He understand, and felt the same way. He didn’t want to upset his parents more. So we were both decided to marry. Our parents were so happy when we told them our decision. Mine didn’t even try to stop me when I said I had to go back to United States for couple of days._

_I was so nervous, and spent half of the journey crying, knowing that this was the last time I could ever see your face. Then as I finally saw your smiling face when you opened our apartment door, I wavered. All I really wanted at the time was holding you in my arms, and kissed you senseless. As I expected, you tried to make me stay. My heart broke into pieces when you went down on your knees and begged me to stay, asking me to marry you instead. I felt so wretched because I knew I might never see you again. So I told you I didn’t love you anymore. Watching your crestfallen and heartbroken face, I knew I hit the right spot. I only let my guard down after you closed the door, I fell down to my knees, tears running down my face. It was a torture._

_My wedding was not I expected it would be. Papa was so happy when he walked me down the aisle to Marceau, Maman was crying, I was crying for a whole different reason. Marceau and I never intended to consummate our marriage. But one day, Marceau came home and told me that the man he loved died in a car accident. We both cried for our loved ones and got drunk. It only took that one time then  I got pregnant with my children. We named our son Claude, after Marceau’s late boyfriend, and our daughter Margaux, just like you knew I’ve always wanted._

_My relationship with Marceau has never been more than friends, and we would always be friends. After both our parents died, we talked about our relationship. We could’ve just got divorced and move on with our life. But we decided to stay married, for our children’s sake._

_Cosima, I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry I lied to you when I promised you I wouldn’t ever do that. I’m sorry I broke your heart. I don’t expect you to forgive me, Chèrie, I just hope you would understand. And I want you to know that I love you. I always have and I will always be. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for me, for loving me._

_Vous êtes l'amour de ma vie , et je vous aimerai toujours . Pour toujours et à jamais._

_Delphine Cormier._

* * *

 

Sarah knew something was wrong when Cosima walked into the apartment, straight to bathroom. She sunk back into her seat when Cosima didn’t even look at her when Sarah called her name. Tessa and Kira stopped chatting, they looked back and forth to bathroom door then Sarah. They turned to their Uncle Felix, who shrugged, looked as confused as the two young adult. He then threw a look at Sarah, she sighed and got up from her chair.

“Cos?” Sarah knocked on the bathroom door. “You alright in there?”

“Yeah. Yap. I’m good.” Cosima replied.

Sarah frowned, her sister definitely didn’t sounds fine. “Cos, open this bloody door!” Sarah pounded at the door once again.

“Leave me alone Sarah!” Cosima said sharply.

Sarah flinched at the tone, Cosima rarely snapped at her. She remembered one time when Cosima snapped at her, when she tried to reassure her that Tessa was fine after she fell from the tree. Sarah felt someone touched her left shoulder, she turned around and found her daughter shake her head.

“Let Aunt Cos alone for awhile, okay Mum?” Kira said softly.

Sarah nodded silently. She let Kira guided her back to sofa, sat her right next to Felix, who immediately wrapped his hand around his foster sister’s shoulder. Sarah sighed and leaned to Felix, rest her head on Felix’s left shoulder. Tessa looked at the bathroom door with worried and curious painted in her face.

It’s half an hour later when Cosima finally walked out the bathroom, her eyes puffy, red and hollow, her hair was a mess. She walked, and sat next to Sarah. Felix reached for the remote and turned off the television.

“Hey, you okay?” Sarah asked with low voice, she rubbed Cosima’s back, and looked over to Felix.

Cosima’s body started to tremble. She hid her face in her palms, fresh tears running down her face. She mumbled something no one could catch.

“Darling, we couldn’t understand what you say.” Felix said gently. “Can you speak a little bit louder?”

Cosima sniffed loudly, her shoulders shifting as she wiped her eyes. “She’ll die.”

Tessa frowned. “Who?” Kira nudged her, and shook her head.

Cosima sniffed again, Sarah handed her a tissue and Cosima thanked her sister quietly. She looked straight to Sarah’s eyes. “They’ve decided to turn off Delphine’s life support. She’ll die, Sarah. Delphine will die.”

“What?” Felix and Sarah exclaimed in surprise.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know. I know Felix told you, and I know Felix already read my letter.” Cosima snorted.

“I—what—“ Felix stammered. Tessa and Kira tried to hid their smile but failed, which made their faces looked weird.

Sarah, however, didn’t seems bothered with that. “Explain to me again, Cos. What do you mean Frenchie will die?”

Cosima wiped her nose with a tissue. “I read her letter, I went to the hospital, and met her daughter. She told me they’ve signed a letter of agreement for turning of Delphine’s life support. Without them, there’s a huge chance Delphine wouldn’t survive.”

Sarah nodded, now everything clearer for her. “So. What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean? There’s nothing I can do, I have no power in this matter.” Cosima said defeatedly. She rubbed her nosebridge. “I need some sleep.”

Cosima got up from the sofa, and walked to her bedroom. She stopped when she heard Sarah’s voice behind her.

“Cos. You lost her once, will you let her go again this time?”


	8. Chapter 8

Margaux looked at her brother once again. “ _Are we sure about this_?”

Claude swallowed the lump on his throat, and nodded, he didn’t even trust his voice at the time. But he threw a look at his sister, a determined yet sad look. Margaux held her gaze to her brother a little longer before nodded, and looked down to a form in her hand. She took a deep breath, holding it for awhile, then exhaled loudly, sounded more like a deep sigh. She signed the form and quickly handed it to her brother, who mimicked her movement. He gave the form to Elle who had waited patiently.

“ _I will come back in an hour to—do it._ ” She looked at the twins with pity.

Claude nodded curtly. Still didn’t trust his voice. Elle squeezed his shoulder lightly as she passed her by.

Margaux bursted into tears, hid her face in her palms. Claude felt sad, and helpless as he hug his sister and wrapped his arms tightly around her. They clung desperately on each other. After this, they will only have each other.

“ _We made a right decision._ ” Claude whispered. His shirt wet and hot with his sister’s tears. “ _She wouldn’t have wanted to live like this_.”

“ _No. No she wouldn’t have been happy with this._ ” Margaux let her brother go and wiped her face, gave her brother a tight smile. “ _Let’s say goodbye to Maman._ ”

Claude admired his sister’s courage, he would’ve broke down if she didn’t put that brave face. He watched as Margaux kneel beside their mother’s bed, she took her right hand, and hold it in her palms. She kissed their mother’s knuckles, pressed them to her cheek. He took place beside Margaux, one hand on her shoulder, the other on their mother’s bed, he remained standing.

“ _Maman? It’s us, Claude and Margaux,_ ” her voice low and tight. “ _It’s okay if you want to go, really. Claude and I will be fine. You and Papa raised us well, Maman._ ”

Margaux inhaled sharply, trying not to cry. She felt Claude’s hand squeezed her shoulder, it gave her some encouragement in some way. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. She did that couple of times until she felt calm enough then opened both her eyes, again. She opened her mouth to talk more to their mother when she heard Claude’s voice.

“ _I will take care of Margaux. I promise you, Maman. So you don’t have to worry about us. We’ll be fine._ ”

Margaux put her hand on top of Claude’s hand on her shoulder. She looked up to Claude, who looked down to her, and gave him a grateful smile. Claude smiled at her, albeit forced, but Margaux grateful for that smile.

“ _We will take care of each other._ ” Margaux added. “ _And I already gave your letter to Cosima. She knows know, that you never stopped loving her._ ”

Claude looked down to his sister, looking genuinely surprised. “ _What letter? You met Cosima? The Cosima? Maman’s Cosima, Cosima?_ ”

Margaux rolled her eyes. “ _Yes Claude. I met Cosima. Maman’s ex-girlfriend, Cosima Niehaus. She was here few days ago, so I gave her the letter._ ”

“ _And you didn’t even bother to tell me?_ ”

“ _I forgot, okay. Sorry._ ” She sighed, a little smile formed in her face. “ _Maman would’ve laughed at us, if she see us bickering like that._ ”

“ _Maman would have been furious if she knew we broke her safety box_.” Claude grinned.

Margaux laughed a little. “ _Yes she would._ ”

“ _She’s a great mother._ ”

Margaux nodded. “ _Hear that? You’re a great mother, Maman. Papa was a great father too. We love both of you very much._ ”

The twins kept talking to their unconscious mother, hoping in some way she’d listened to everything they said. Until Elle came to the room, and told them it’s time. Both of them nodded numbly, then kissed their mother for the last time.

“ _You know,_ ” Elle said as the twins finished saying goodbye to their mother. “ _I’m sure she’s proud to call you two her children._ ”

Margaux smiled weakly. “ _We hope so._ ”

They watched as the doctor and nurse turning off the life support. Both Margaux and Claude knew anything could happen when they chose to turn off the life support. Their mother could die seconds or days after this, or she could be awake. Claude hope the later would happen. Margaux tried not to hope on anything.

* * *

 

Cosima found herself in a park close to the river again. She really loved the place, even though it’s cramped with people who spent their lasti weeks of summer picnic. She need to getaway from Sarah and Felix, who couldn’t just stay away from Cosima’s love life. They kept pushing her to see Delphine, to tell her that she’s still in love with her. Cosima think Sarah being absurd because Delphine is in coma, she probably wouldn’t hear or remember anything Cosima say to her. She jumped when she felt her phone vibrated in her pocket. It’s Tessa. Cosima frowned, wondering what her daughter want from her.

“Hello?”

“ _Mom you should go to the hospital. Now._ ” Tessa said in hurry.

“Who’s sick? Your Mama?”

“ _No, Mom. It’s Delphine._ ”

Cosima sighed and rolled her eyes. “Not you too, Tess. Listen, just don’t intervere with anything about me and Delphine, alright? Stay away fr—“

“ _Mom!_ ” Tessa shouted at her phone, Cosima had to pulled her phone a bit further from her left ear. “ _They already signed the paperwork, and they already ask to do the procedure today._ ”

Her eyes wide. If they asked to do the procedure today, it means there’s a huge chance that today will be the last day of Delphine’s life. She could hear her daughter calling her. She stand up abruptly from the bench, hung up her phone, and ran. Suddenly, she didn’t like the thought of a world without Delphine.

Cosima never like sports, she was all for science ever since she was a child. She was always been different compared to her sisters, and adoptive parents. Her adoptive parents always spent their weekends playing tennis with their friends. Beth was a cop, she used to run few miles every morning. When she was still alive, she and Alison loved spend their weekends run together. The twins were both good in practically any kind of sports, especially self defense kind of sports as both of them got into lots of trouble as a teenagers. Cosima was the only who never like sports. Which made Cosima breathe heavily after only couple minutes of running from riverside to street. She raised her hand to call a taxi.

“Hospital, and please hurry.” Cosima said hurriedly as soon as she got into the taxi, completely forgotten that she’s in france. Thankfully, the driver spoke fluent English.

Cosima couldn’t sit still along the way. She kept bitting her bottom lip, move her legs, and drummed her fingers to her knee. Oblivious to the driver’s curious look over the rear view. She alternate between looking outside her window and at her watch, sometimes she look impatitently at the driver, silently urge him to drive faster. She threw her money to the driver and sprang out the taxi then ran inside the hospital. She ignored every curious, annoyed, and angry look from everyone. Also, the nurses that yelled at her to stop running, and reminded her that this is a hospital not a run track. She ignored all of them. She didn’t even took the elevator and ran upstairs by stairs. Her lung felt burn, her legs sore, but she kept moving as fast as she could. She only stopped when she saw Elle walking towards her.

Elle looked up, her eyes wide when she saw sweating Cosima stood in front of her, panting heavily. Her eyes soften at Cosima’s worried, anxious face. She understood what Cosima’s looking for. She sighed and turned her head, looking straight to Delphine’s room, then back to Cosima. She jerked her head towards the door, silently asking Cosima to check inside herself.

Cosima nodded. Elle pat her shoulder when she walked pass her. The door was wide open, she could easily see inside the room. Cosima stand in the doorway, to nervous to walk inside. There’s only two person beside Delphine in the room. Cosima assumed it was her children. She already met Margaux, so she recognized the blonde hair girl who stood with her back on Cosima. The taller blonde man that stood beside her must be Claude, her twin brother.

“Margaux.” Cosima called. Her voice was small, and scared, more like a child than a grown woman.

The two blondes turned around. Margaux eyes went wide, while the man looked confused.

“Cosima.”

It ached Cosima how similiar the way Margaux pronounce her name, very much like Delphine. Too much like Delphine. Cosima was really surprise when Margaux approached her, and embraced her. The taller girl was crying, her breath hot against Cosima’s neck. She already thought about the worst.

“Is she—is Delphine….” Cosima couldn’t even finished her question. Too scared to hear the truth.

Margaux let Cosima go, and quickly shook her head. “Non, non, non. She’s still alive. But she didn’t have her life support now. It could be anytime soon.”

Cosima nodded, didn’t trust her own voice. She finally looked towards Delphine, who was laying still at the bed.

“I think we should give you a moment with Maman.” Margaux said, she looked at her brother, and gestured to walk outside with her.

Cosima didn’t even realise the twins walked out the room, or when Margaux closed the door after took one last look at Cosima and Delphine.  

She fell to her knees next to Delphine, and couldn’t help but think that this must be what Delphine had felt everytime Cosima was hospitalized. She remember Delphine relieved face when she opened her eyes after she got a seizure. At the time it didn’t cross her mind how scarred Delphine must had felt, not knowing if Cosima would survive. It hit Cosima how many times she put Delphine in those kind of position.

“Del, babe, it’s me.” Cosima whispered as she stroke Delphine’s hair. “Honestly I don’t know what to say to you right now. I want to ask you to never give up, to stay here. But I think it sounds selfish.”

Delphine’s cheek felt cold under Cosima’s fingers. She wanted to hold her, make her warm. She licked her lips, sighed deeply.

“So, I’m going to say this to you instead.” Cosima shifted, leaned closer to Delphine. “Whatever your decision, to stay or to leave, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid, I will always be here for you.” She whispered the last sentence to Delphine’s ear.

Cosima felt tears welled up in her eyes. She realized she couldn’t held them any longer. She put her right hand on Delphine’s left cheek, and leaned to kiss her right cheek.

“I will always love you.”

* * *

 

Claude handed a cup of tea to his sister, who smiled gratefully at him. He sipped his own cup of coffee while looking at his surrounding, then he sat on his sister left side. He couldn’t help but thinking about the woman he just met minutes ago, a woman who apparently his mother was in love with. Cosima was different compared to the woman he saw at the photograph yet he recognized her even before his sister mentioned her name. She didn’t have dreadlocks just like she did when she was young, she looked older too, but well, everyone’s change. Claude had changed, so did his sister.

“ _So. That’s the infamous Cosima Niehaus._ ” Claude mumbled.

Margaux laughed a little. “ _Yes she is. Beautiful isn’t she? No wonder Maman’s in love with her._ ”

“ _About that, it’s still hard to believe that our mother was in love with another woman._ ”

“ _I think Papa was gay as well._ ” Margaux said easily. She drank her tea slowly, and carefully. She definitely did not need a burn tongue as well.

“ _And what makes you think that way_?” Claude raised his eyebrow at his sister.

“ _He checked out your baseball coach’s ass multiple times._ ”

“ _He did not!_ ”

Margaux didn’t respond and checked her watch, it’s almost half an hour. She got up from her seat, gestured to her brother to come with her. They walked back to their mother’s room. They haven’t heard anything from either Cosima or Dr Caron for those half an hour, Margaux took that as a good sign, that Delphine’s still alive.

They stopped in their track when they saw Dr Caron walked out from Delphine’s room with a really huge smile plestered on her face. She smiled even wider when she saw the twins, and enveloped them in a hug.

“ _It’s a miracle!_ ” that was all she said before she left them dumbfounded.

Claude and Margaux looked at each other before both of them ran towards the door. Claude reach the handle and loudly opened the door. Both froze in place at the sight, before they slowly smile so wide it almost split their faces in half.

“Maman.” Margaux said with a breathe of relieve.

Delphine looks at her with a smile, her right hand clasped between Cosima’s, who grinned at them widely.  Claude thought it was the best thing he ever saw for a long time.

“Bonjour, mes anges.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally. thankyou so much for the lovely comments on this story, for every kudos you guys gave me, and for reading this story. it really meant a lot to me to know that you guys were enjoying this story (:

Margaux hang her coat with a worn-out sigh. She spent her whole day at university, then went to her part time job. She’s tired and really hungry, she only ate sandwich for lunch today. Her house was dark and empty, it seems like her mother didn’t home yet. That’s not unusual for Margaux, her mother love spending time at her work. She walked to the kitchen and peeked on the refrigerator, she decided to cook spaghetti, an easy yet satisfying dinner for her.

She just finished cooking her spaghetti when her phone rang. Margaux smiled when she saw Tessa’s name on the screen. Ever since the letter incident couple months ago, she became close with Cosima’s only daughter, especially because both of them lived in Paris. A week after Delphine out of the hospital, Margaux and Tessa spent their Sunday afternoon together in a coffee shop. It became their routine ever since.

“Bonsoir, Tess.” Said Margaux as she set her plate at her dining table.

“ _Bonsoir. Coffee tomorrow_?” Margaux almost couldn’t hear Tessa indistinct voice with all those loud music on the background.

“Of course. Where are you anyway?”

“ _A party._ ”

_Of course,_ Margaux thought. “Don’t drink too much. You’re still under twenty one.”

“ _And you still sounds like my Moms. Gotta go. Text you later, ‘kay? Bye._ ” Tessa hung up the phone before Margaux could reply.

She shook her head. Margaux set her phone beside her plate and start eating.

Margaux was laying in her bed, with both eyes closed, while her radio playing songs from her favourite band. She almost fell asleep when she heard her Maman’s car outside. She stepped down from her bed and looked outside her window. She saw her mother and another person walked out from the car. Margaux frowned, her mother never bring anyone from work. She squinted her eyes as she tried to see the person, but it was too dark outside, so she couldn’t see anything. Her mother and the person walked inside the house. Margaux tiptoed to her bedroom door, and carefully opened them. She could hear faintly her mother talked with someone. She walked carefully outside, and stepped down the stairs slowly, she could hear their conversation a little bit more clearly.

“Only wine? Do you have anything _beside_ wine?”

Margaux’s mother sighed. “Cosima, you know I like wine better than any other form of alcohol.”

“Right. Obvs. Margaux never drink anything beside wine?”

“Well, she’s my daughter.” Margaux could hear her mother smile.

Margaux smiled, it’s Cosima! She always loved whenever Cosima came. But why Tessa didn’t tell her anything about Cosima being here?

Margaux walked back to her room and reached her phone on her desk. She sent a text to Tessa.

_Tess, why didn’t you tell me your mom is going to visit?_

She didn’t have to wait long for the reply because Tessa sent her a text not five minutes later.

_Coz she’s not._

Margaux frowned, Tessa didn’t know that Cosima was visiting? Couple of seconds later her phone rang again.

_Wait. Is she THERE?_

_Oh uh._ Margaux bit her bottom lip, should she tell her that Cosima is here? Or she shouldn’t? Her phone rang again. This time Tessa called her.

“Hello?” Margaux said carefully.

“ _My mom’s there isn’t she?_ ” Tessa didn’t even bother to say hello.

“Well….”

“ _She’s sooo dead._ ” Tessa hung up her phone.

Then she heard an unfamiliar ringtone from downstairs. Margaux cursed under her breath, and walked outside her bedroom.

* * *

 

Cosima watched Delphine pour a glass of wine for her. It’s not that she didn’t like the wine, but right now, Cosima needs a stronger liquor. But it not Sarah’s house, so she couldn’t find any bourbon or anything stronger than wine. She smiled when Delphine handed her the wine.

“ _Merci._ ” Said Cosima.

Delphine laughed. “Your French still horrible, Cosima. Your daughter never teach you French?” she sat beside Cosima.

“She tried.” Cosima sipped her wine. It tasted good. Delphine always has a great taste in wine.

Then her phone rang with her daughter’s name on the screen. Her eyebrows went up. She was wondering why her daughter called her at this hour. She tap the green button on the screen and put her phone on her left ear.

“Hey Te—“

“ _Are you in France right now?_ ” Tessa cut off her mother’s hello.

“Hello to you too. And yes, I’m alright, thanks for asking.” Cosima said sarcastically, rolled both her eyes as she’s talking. “What makes you think I’m in France right now?”

“ _Well, do you?_ ” Tessa challenged her mother.

Delphine tilted her head at Cosima, silently asking who’s talking to her right now. Cosima mouthed Tessa’s name, and Delphine’s lips form an ‘O’. Cosima smirked at her and put her daughter on speaker.

“As a matter of fact, I am in Paris right now.” Cosima said.

“ _Mom! How could you?! I know you’re in love Delphine and all, but I’m your_ daughter.” Tessa huffed. “ _And I have to hear that you’re in France from Delphine’s daughter? What the fuck is wrong with you_!”

Delphine snorted a laugh at Tessa’s foul language. She’s so much like Cosima. While Cosima grimaced.

“Young lady, I know you’re of age, but do not speak like that to your mother. And Delphine’s listening.”

“ _You put the phone on speaker?!_ ” Tessa shouted. “ _What is wrong with you?!_ ”

Then she hung up her phone. Leave the two women in silence. Delphine and Cosima looked up at each other then both of them bursted out, laughing.

* * *

 

Cosima hung up her phone with a sigh, her daughter was mad at her, which understandable. She should’ve talked to Tessa before she went here. But this was an impromptu trip. Cosima bought the plane ticket a day before and called Delphine just after she arrived. Still, she understand why Tessa feel left out. Cosima _did_ spend much more time with Delphine than Tessa ever since she got Delphine back. Shay told her to spend some time with their daughter, and Cosima agreed with that. She’ll pick her up tomorrow, they need some serious talk, and Cosima need to apologize to Tessa.

She walked into the room just to see Delphine fast asleep in her bed. Cosima smile softly at the sight. After Delphine was out from the hospital, they sat down together and had a serious talk. Delphine admitted she never fell out of love with Cosima, and wanted them to be together. But they decided to take things slow. Even after Cosima went back to United States, they maintained a really great communication. They talked a lot, sorted everything out. Cosima listened more stories about Delphine and her late husband’s relationship. Cosima also told Delphine about Shay and her family, including the complete story of their divorce, and Shay’s marriage to Elle Caron, who was Delphine’s doctor.

Cosima told her sisters about her and Delphine’s relationship on thanksgiving. Felix and Sarah, who already knew about that, just smile, and still told her to be careful. Alison was surprised, she was more upset with Sarah for not telling her about that, and to Cosima because she didn’t even bother to tell her. In the end she told Cosima she support any of her decision. While Helena said if Delphine ever broke Cosima’s heart again, she’ll run her over with Jesse’s truck. Cosima and Tessa spent their christmast apart, since last year Tessa spent her christmast in London with Cosima’s family. Tessa spent her christmast with Shay and Elle, Cosima with her sisters in Toronto. But they spent new years together. Cosima went back to France on last week of December, and spent time with Tessa as well as Delphine and her children. It was new years eve when Cosima finally told Delphine she love her. Delphine’s smile back then was the most beautiful smile Cosima had ever seen.

Cosima smiled at the memory. She bend over to kiss Delphine’s forehead. Even now, she’s still wondering why a woman like Delphine Cormier loves her, and what makes her so lucky to have her. She climbed to bed, and wrapped her hand around Delphine’s middle, she fell asleep not long after.

A black velvet box sat on their bedside table, waiting for it’s future owner.


End file.
